Medical and Healthcare jokes to make you smile!
Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night’s sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try…
Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night’s sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try…
Funny medical one/two liners that really caught my attention. I thought it was worth sharing it! Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can’t remember anything! Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem? Patient: What problem? Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters? Nurse:…
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. “Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.” “Well, how much does a…
Hospital lingo can be dead serious, very serious, serious, not serious, jolly, light hearted, funny, hilarious or absolutely insane. Abbreviations and acronyms make it to the top of the list when it comes to medical humour and sarcasm. I can never get enough of it and I scourged the net to find some interesting ones…
Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager. Morris, somewhat of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, “Hey DeBakey… Is dat you? Come over here a minute.” The…
A list of blunders and funny incidents in a medical person’s life: The skin was moist and dry. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (Long fingers?) The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a…
The CEO of a large HMO dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter shows him to a lovely villa, wonderful music, great views, full staff of servants, gourmet meals, etc. The CEO says, “This is terrific!” “Don’t get too comfortable,” says St. Peter. “You’re only approved for a three-day stay.”
A patient shows up in a psychiatrist’s office nude and asks “Doc, do I look crazy to you?” The Doc replies ” I can see ‘your’ nuts.[box type=”spacer”]
A woman goes to see the psychiatrist about her low self-esteem. She is unhealthy, pale, and obese. After tearfully explaining her predicament, the doc says, “hmm, yes, could you please lie on the floor under the window?” “Now over next to the door.” “Now under the bookshelves.” “Thank you.” He then occupies himself with writing….
The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn. “Why are all the blinds closed?” she asked her doctor. “Well,” the surgeon responded, “They’re fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn’t want you to wake up and think the operation had failed. [box type=”spacer”]
“Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!” [box type=”spacer”]