Coping to Start Over

Coping When You Have To Start Over

In life, we expect to move continuously upward. We gain possessions, friends, money, and experience, never taking more than a small step back. We feel like every day, we should be a little bit better off than we were the day before.

But that's not always the case. Sometimes things come into our life that take away a large portion of what we've built, leaving us to back up and try to start again. For some people, the process is overwhelming and leads to depression or simply a surrender to a lower standard of living.

There are a variety of triggers that can leave us in this situation, but once we acknowledge what it takes to move on, we can start to get positive things going in our lives again.

People enrolled in rehab programs for young adults often find that this struggle is particularly burdensome for them. Their addiction has led them to quit or skip their education, or they've gotten a good job only to lose it.

If you or someone in your life has been in this situation, it's important to stay on track (or to help them stay on track) and moving in a positive direction. Remain mindful of these absolute truths about getting back on your feet.

It Has Happened to Others

The angle we need here is not that misery loves company, but that present misery can get help from former misery. People who are having a tough time starting over in life right now can not only look to others for comfort but also for advice.

Building networks with people is critical to bouncing back from life's setbacks. If a loved one has died unexpectedly, find a support group that will unite you with others who have been there. They won't just be a shoulder to cry on or inspiration for a better tomorrow, they'll also be a source of knowledge for coping skills as you move forward.

There Is A Way Out

No matter what challenge has come your way, there is a path forward through it. Bankruptcy or foreclosure can be devastating emotionally on top of financially, but once you understand it thoroughly, you'll see a way to start rebuilding your life and your credit.

A trauma such as a death will never be reversed, of course, but those who succeed in moving on after a loss find that they reach a stage where they stop thinking about the time of the death and are able to focus on the time of the life. They will see the good memories take precedence over the bad ones with the passage of time, and even though they'll never be quite the same, they'll find a way to smile again.

You Can Avoid A Repeat

When we make mistakes, we can get so lost in what's going wrong that we don't put enough energy and focus on learning the tough lessons. If it's financial, we're scrambling so hard to get by that we don't imprint ourselves to make better decisions. If we've made a mistake at work, we may be working so hard at fixing the damage that we don't learn what we should.

In the case of a death, of course, we can't avoid another loss. In fact, we are assured that we will see friends and family pass away throughout our own lives. But we can learn how to make sure we make the most of the time we have with those we love so that our future loss isn't compounded by guilt or regret.

Hard things come our way, no matter how hard we try to avoid them. We can prevent some, and we can avoid compounding others. The important thing to remember is that the past is behind us and we must always return to our best selves to continue to move forward when we start over.

Stress Management Cartoon

• Meet the Author • Dr. Lawrence Kindo


I am a Medical Professional with a passion for writing, blogging, playing, computers, and of course patient care. My writing in this medical blog will reflect my passion, and you are welcome to be a part of this venture. This medical blog is a tribute to all the great medical pioneers, and to the ultimate source of wisdom, God.


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